Feeling Complete

We women can be vicious sometimes can't we?  Recently I came across Rural Women Rock's website and breathed a breath of fresh air.  Not only do women share encouraging stories, but they are rural women (you probably figured that out already...hence the name) at that! I feel honored to guest post this week.  Thank you Kasse for having me.  

This here is my family.  That's right, my husband and I have five kids all together.  You counted right! We live on a working ranch with chicken houses, cattle, and horses. 

On November 10, 2010 I knelt beside my bed and cried out to the Lord.  I was sick and tired of trying to figure things out on my own.  You see, I was a stubborn one, feisty to the core.  "Your will Lord, not mine anymore" is what I prayed.  I meant it with all my heart.  The Lord answered quicker than I ever thought He would. 

 

November 12, 2010, just two days after I prayed for the Lord's will, I met Randal.  I fell in love with his three kids first and then him.  The Lord knew exactly what I needed.  I didn't even know what I needed.

Now this next part I wouldn't normally recommend, unless the Lord encourages you.  Exactly one month to the day from when we met, Randal and I were married in our log home by my grandpa.  Our children stood with us.  It was one of the happiest days of my life.  I knew I was right where I was supposed to be and felt such a peace.

Several years before I met Randal, the Lord kept giving me the scripture "Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert" Isaiah 43:19.  I would think to myself I don't know how you're going to do this Lord, but that's the only hope I have to cling to right now. I had that empty, hopeless feeling at this point.

It took several years to see this scripture come to pass in my life, so of course I had my moments (sometimes days) of doubts.  Thankfully the Lord always got my attention in one way or another.  

I can tell you that my days are now filled with life.  I enjoy the sunrises and sunsets. I finally truly realize that it's a choice to be happy. 

I am currently a high school mathematics teacher, but I am retiring at the end of this school year to be a full-time, stay-at-home mom and rancher. I can't hardly wait! You probably think I am crazy, but I love to work in the chicken houses. I also love being outside and close to God's creation.

In my thirties I am just learning how to ride horses and work cattle. Yes, our three older kids knew more than I did at one point, which is humbling.  I have come a long ways!  That's to encourage everyone of you to learn something new, no matter what your age.

You see, the Lord knew what I needed to feel complete and He does for you too.   

Part 2 of our love story: Crossroads

So I was at a crossroads.  I wasn't sure what direction I was supposed to go in my life.  Kim told me on November 10th "you better remember this date, it will be significant."  You need to make up your mind what direction you are going to go.  I went home that night and fell on my face beside my bed, hit my knees and prayed a prayer that I meant with all my heart.  I said Lord, not my will, but yours.  I am sick of trying to figure all this out myself and I need you to take over.  I knew the importance of prayer.  This wasn't the first time I had prayed.  I was raised in church all my life, but that doesn't mean I had it all figured out.  To be honest, I was always a bit rebellious.  This prayer that I prayed on November 10th however changed my life.  I meant what I said with every ounce in me.  Little did I know that He was about to rock my world.

That night I ended up going to my parents house and spending the night there. I had a dream that night that I died.  I could feel myself drifting away.  I took a slow deep breath and died in my dream.  It was a very peaceful experience, not scary at all.  So the next day I jump on the computer googling "what does dying in your dream mean?"  I either don't dream or I never remember my dreams for one thing, so it was a pretty big deal.  Anyways, when I read that it could symbolize a new beginning or your old self dying, it made complete sense.  I will let you know next time what happened on November 12, 2010.